We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are.
~~~~~Honore de Balzac
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,
"Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked.
He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the man asks.
"Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas "
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you.You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."
The frog replies,"Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.
With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
~~~~~
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you...What the hell did you think I said?
~~~~~
An old man is sitting at a table with his son and his new grandson.The old man looks at his son and asks...
"Son, have you found out what that boy of yers is gonna be yet when he grows up?"
The man curls his eyebrows and asks "huh?"
The old man gets up and says "wait right here."
About five minutes pass and the old man comes back with a bottle of beer, some poker playing cards, and a bible.
The old man lines up the three items in front of the infant and looks at the man and says:" Ok, here's how it works...
If the boy grabs the beer he's gonna be a drunk.
If he grabs the cards he's gonna be a gambler.
If he grabs the bible he's gonna be a preacher."
The baby stares at the items for a moment.He then reaches out and grabs all three items.
The old man shouts...
"HOT DANG SON - HE'S A DEMOCRAT!"
And so it goes......
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
From Airman Mom...
For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
~~~~~Thomas Jefferson
I was out visiting today, when I happened to stop for a rest at Airman Mom's place. I was there for a while as she has some wonderful reads. The one below I have reposted here with her blessing.
Before you read, grab some tissues. I was a sobbing, sniffling mess as I left her a comment, requesting my 'steal'.
Next week, I'm heading up to Dayton to catch a flight to the Sunshine State. I think I might take some extra cash with me. Just in case I happen to see a few or a dozen of "Our Guys".
Who knows, it might be her son...
Day after day, we are blanketed by news of our failing economy, we are sickened by the political advertisements, and some days it seems as though the only news we hear is negative.
This story was posted on the "Blue Star Mothers" site.
Please enjoy these uplifting words.
The Sack Lunches
I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. "I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap," I thought.
Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. "Where are you headed?" I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.
"Chicago - to Great Lakes Base. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Iraq ."
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached Chicago, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time.
As I reached for my wallet, I overheard soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. "No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to Chicago."
His friend agreed.
I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. "Take a lunch to all those soldiers." She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. "My son was a soldier in Iraq; it's almost like you are doing it for him."
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, "Which do you like best - beef or chicken?"
"Chicken," I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. "This is your thanks."
After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. "I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this." He handed me twenty-five dollars.
Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an said, "I want to shake your hand."
Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, "I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot." I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.
Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
When we landed in Chicago I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word.
Another twenty-five dollars!
Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. "It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You."
Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals.
It seemed so little...
And so it goes......
~~~~~Thomas Jefferson
I was out visiting today, when I happened to stop for a rest at Airman Mom's place. I was there for a while as she has some wonderful reads. The one below I have reposted here with her blessing.
Before you read, grab some tissues. I was a sobbing, sniffling mess as I left her a comment, requesting my 'steal'.
Next week, I'm heading up to Dayton to catch a flight to the Sunshine State. I think I might take some extra cash with me. Just in case I happen to see a few or a dozen of "Our Guys".
Who knows, it might be her son...
Day after day, we are blanketed by news of our failing economy, we are sickened by the political advertisements, and some days it seems as though the only news we hear is negative.
This story was posted on the "Blue Star Mothers" site.
Please enjoy these uplifting words.
The Sack Lunches
I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. "I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap," I thought.
Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. "Where are you headed?" I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.
"Chicago - to Great Lakes Base. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Iraq ."
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached Chicago, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time.
As I reached for my wallet, I overheard soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. "No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to Chicago."
His friend agreed.
I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. "Take a lunch to all those soldiers." She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. "My son was a soldier in Iraq; it's almost like you are doing it for him."
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, "Which do you like best - beef or chicken?"
"Chicken," I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. "This is your thanks."
After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. "I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this." He handed me twenty-five dollars.
Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an said, "I want to shake your hand."
Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, "I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot." I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.
Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
When we landed in Chicago I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word.
Another twenty-five dollars!
Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. "It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You."
Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals.
It seemed so little...
And so it goes......
Friday Funnies...
The legions of reporters who cover politics don't want to quit the clash and thunder of electoral combat for the dry duty of analyzing the federal budget. As a consequence, we have created the perpetual presidential campaign.
~~~~~Hugh Sidey
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.
Vote carefully this year.
~~~~~
Nana's Nursing Home...
A wealthy family took their frail, elderly grandmother to a famous and expensive nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses luxuriously bathed her- fed her a tasty breakfast cooked by a famous chef, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side.
The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.
Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.
"So Grandma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied.
"Except they won't let me fart."
~~~~~
Friends vs. Southern Friends
(for all my Southern Friends whether they live in the North or South!! Love ya!)
FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.
FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. And Mrs.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home !'
FRIENDS: Will visit you in jail .
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend the night in jail with you.
FRIENDS: Will visit you in the hospital when you're sick.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital and cook for you when you come home.
FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Have your number memorized.
FRIENDS: Are for a while.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life.
And so it goes......
~~~~~Hugh Sidey
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies,
'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.
Vote carefully this year.
~~~~~
Nana's Nursing Home...
A wealthy family took their frail, elderly grandmother to a famous and expensive nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses luxuriously bathed her- fed her a tasty breakfast cooked by a famous chef, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side.
The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.
Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.
"So Grandma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied.
"Except they won't let me fart."
~~~~~
Friends vs. Southern Friends
(for all my Southern Friends whether they live in the North or South!! Love ya!)
FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.
FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. And Mrs.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home !'
FRIENDS: Will visit you in jail .
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend the night in jail with you.
FRIENDS: Will visit you in the hospital when you're sick.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital and cook for you when you come home.
FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Have your number memorized.
FRIENDS: Are for a while.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life.
And so it goes......
Monday, October 6, 2008
Gloom, Despair And Agony On Me...
Every exit is an entrance somewhere else.
~~~~~Tom Stoppard
I can remember listening to that little ditty from Roy Clark, Buck Owens and the crew on Hee Haw. Tonight, the words sorta fit the way I feel.
But the show must go on...
Hee Haw also did another little skit. It too fits my mood.
The last few nights spent working has had me trying to sleep during the daylight hours. For me, that's not a good thing. Every year around this time, I have symptoms of S.easonal A.ffectedness D.isorder. The body needs more sunlight, or depression can set in. Yup, it does make me SAD, and I want to just hibernate for the winter.
Therefore I try to get as much sunlight as I can. It helps some. There are special lamps that can be purchased to alleviate the effects of depression this disorder brings. I haven't bought one yet.
I have found that laughter works almost as good as sunlight. Who can be depressed when the face is contorted with side splitting laughter? Uhh, not me.
I just hope I can see the sun for a short time tomorrow. I'll be waiting for the cable repairman. I've got my fingers crossed that he will solve my problems with the internet connection. Then I can dispel that "Gloom, despair and agony on me" with the reading of my favorite blogs!
And so it goes......
~~~~~Tom Stoppard
- "Gloom, despair and agony on me-e!
- Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
- If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all!
- Gloom, despair and agony on me-e-e!"
I can remember listening to that little ditty from Roy Clark, Buck Owens and the crew on Hee Haw. Tonight, the words sorta fit the way I feel.
But the show must go on...
Hee Haw also did another little skit. It too fits my mood.
- "Where, oh where, are you tonight?
- Why did you leave me here all alone?
- I searched the world over, and I thought I'd found true love,
- Then you met another, and PFFFT! You was gone!"
The last few nights spent working has had me trying to sleep during the daylight hours. For me, that's not a good thing. Every year around this time, I have symptoms of S.easonal A.ffectedness D.isorder. The body needs more sunlight, or depression can set in. Yup, it does make me SAD, and I want to just hibernate for the winter.
Therefore I try to get as much sunlight as I can. It helps some. There are special lamps that can be purchased to alleviate the effects of depression this disorder brings. I haven't bought one yet.
I have found that laughter works almost as good as sunlight. Who can be depressed when the face is contorted with side splitting laughter? Uhh, not me.
I just hope I can see the sun for a short time tomorrow. I'll be waiting for the cable repairman. I've got my fingers crossed that he will solve my problems with the internet connection. Then I can dispel that "Gloom, despair and agony on me" with the reading of my favorite blogs!
And so it goes......
Friday, October 3, 2008
Friday Funnies...
Every possession and every happiness is but lent by chance for an uncertain time, and may therefore be demanded back the next hour.
~~~~~Arthur Schopenhauer
Only in America......
do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......
do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America......
do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......
do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ......
do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America......
do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
~~~~~
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouthclosed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~~
Have a Good Day
A Florida senior citizen drive his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing" I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper . . .. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
And so it goes......
~~~~~Arthur Schopenhauer
Only in America......
do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......
do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America......
do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......
do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ......
do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America......
do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
~~~~~
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouthclosed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~~
Have a Good Day
A Florida senior citizen drive his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing" I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper . . .. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
And so it goes......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)