In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy?
~~~~~Leslie Caron
Just sharing a funny
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann:
"Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifest itself in your daughter's name, Penny."
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce:
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner."
~~~~~
GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy,
'Son, how old are you?'
Eight,' the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.'
'We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one.'
~~~~~
RETIREMENT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE
One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.
On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.
On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the best of me and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.
'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?' '
Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, they're having a yard sale.'
~~~~~
And so it goes......
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Newest Fashion Trend...
Tomorrow - your reward for working safely today.
~~~~~Author Unknown
The company I work for (see above image for hint) is very big on 'Safety'. We conduct safety training at least once a month. They also reward us for all milestones reached in our safety performance. Over the years I've worked at this company, they have given us some very nice gifts. I have a leather bomber jacket, several fold up camp chairs, a Fossile watch, and now my latest acquisition is pictured above. And you know what? It is by far my most favorite...
That day glo orange hardhat is what I've been wearing for the last year. We did have just the normal white hardhats, until they decided that orange would be more visible. We have many large forklifts running back and forth throughout our facility, so visible is good.
The reason for my newest one? I have worked 5 years and some months without a recordable accident. In fact, the only recordable accident I've had in 7 years, was when I was using a box knife to cut samples. I couldn't quite reach across the width of the board, so I switched the knife to my left hand without switching the Kevlar glove. Umm, let's just say...8 stitches on my right hand forefinger... I mean, how was I to know that I couldn't cut with my left hand safely? Now, I do.
But as a reward, that hardhat is by far the best yet. Today, I wore it for the first time. I've only had it in my possession for 3 days. The first 2 days, I worked in the Quality lab. I hadn't been out on the production floor 5 minutes this morning when I received my first compliment. The Plant Manager stopped me to comment on it. All day long, almost every one that I passed had some comment to make about it being the best looking hardhat in the plant. Ya know, I tend to agree.
Several people made the comment that they wouldn't wear it, in case it got banged up. To my way of thinking, that defeats the purpose. 5 years is a very long time to practice safety. I want people to know it's possible to achieve that goal. And so far, I'm the only one to have such a good looking hardhat.
I do believe a decal from Soldier's Angels will go nicely on the back.
And so it goes......
~~~~~Author Unknown
The company I work for (see above image for hint) is very big on 'Safety'. We conduct safety training at least once a month. They also reward us for all milestones reached in our safety performance. Over the years I've worked at this company, they have given us some very nice gifts. I have a leather bomber jacket, several fold up camp chairs, a Fossile watch, and now my latest acquisition is pictured above. And you know what? It is by far my most favorite...
That day glo orange hardhat is what I've been wearing for the last year. We did have just the normal white hardhats, until they decided that orange would be more visible. We have many large forklifts running back and forth throughout our facility, so visible is good.
The reason for my newest one? I have worked 5 years and some months without a recordable accident. In fact, the only recordable accident I've had in 7 years, was when I was using a box knife to cut samples. I couldn't quite reach across the width of the board, so I switched the knife to my left hand without switching the Kevlar glove. Umm, let's just say...8 stitches on my right hand forefinger... I mean, how was I to know that I couldn't cut with my left hand safely? Now, I do.
But as a reward, that hardhat is by far the best yet. Today, I wore it for the first time. I've only had it in my possession for 3 days. The first 2 days, I worked in the Quality lab. I hadn't been out on the production floor 5 minutes this morning when I received my first compliment. The Plant Manager stopped me to comment on it. All day long, almost every one that I passed had some comment to make about it being the best looking hardhat in the plant. Ya know, I tend to agree.
Several people made the comment that they wouldn't wear it, in case it got banged up. To my way of thinking, that defeats the purpose. 5 years is a very long time to practice safety. I want people to know it's possible to achieve that goal. And so far, I'm the only one to have such a good looking hardhat.
I do believe a decal from Soldier's Angels will go nicely on the back.
And so it goes......
Monday, August 25, 2008
Welcome Home, Sir...
It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.
~~~~~Norman Schwarzkopf
I've written about Major Pain several times since I've started this blog. He has kept us informed of what he and our Guys have been doing while in Iraq.
Well, it seems while I was working yesterday, he posted that he is home...
Would you please go visit the Major and say hello? Don't forget to say Thank You, and whatever else your little heart desires... Just no bad mouthing please. He's a Marine, and could kick your butt faster than you could blink.
As for me...
WELCOME HOME SIR!!
Thank you and all of your/our dirt people.
You've done us proud yet again.
Sit back, relax and enjoy being home among those who love you best...
OOH-RAH!
And so it goes......
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Sweetness Of Summer...
Love is to the heart what the summer is to the farmer's year - it brings to harvest all the loveliest flowers of the soul. ~~~~~Author Unknown
It's been a whole year since I've done what Momma and us 5 sisters had to do every summer while growing up. Way back then I considered canning more of a chore. Now, I understand that the work we do in the good ole summertime means that we can savor those sweet flavors whilst the cold damp wind of the north blows.
Amazing at how once taught, the finer points of canning the bounty of summer vegetables never quite leave you. Sorta like riding a bike. Rusty maybe, but never forgotten entirely.
Last night the old back complained of the bent over position required to locate those little green beans hiding amongst the foliage. The sun shining thru the clouds baked my back side quite nicely too. If I had arms that were like Stretch Armstrong, I would have dabbed cold vinegar water on the sunburn. Alas, I'm not that flexible. A long hot scented bath was sufficient to relax and restore the aches from a extended day out in the garden. Many of the last few days frustrations didn't seem quite as important either.
Life does go on...As will I.
Here's my pictorial with instructions for making use of God's bounty and the sweet rewards gardening provides...
First, the garden must be planted and lovingly tended.
There's many a dusting done to prevent the bugs from enjoying the plants bounty more than yourself. You must attend many a 'Dancing with the hoe' to ensure the pesky weeds aren't allowed entrance.
After the tender baby beans gain enough weight to be slightly plump, the back bends to their height, and the hunt is on. They are so very adept at hiding in plain sight. Or as Momma would say, "if it had been a snake, it would have bit you..."
Now comes the fun part. Thankfully, I planted the 'stringless' variety of green beans. Momma can have those ole white half runners. Gently or savagely, depends upon the mood, the stem and tip are removed. Each one broken at least once. Washed several times to remove the pesky bugs and spent flower heads.
Those clean empty jars must be hand packed with those now broken bits of goodness. I can guarentee the beans don't jump right in there all by themselves...
A spoon of coarse Kosher salt sprinkled over the top, and boiling hot water poured to within 1/2 inch of the rim.
Not forgetting to let the flats soak a few minutes in boiling hot water to soften up the rubber seal. Each bright flat is placed on jar top, and metal ring screwed down loosely.
Yes, loosely. Those babies need to come off the jars after the cooling down period.
Verify the rubber ring inside the lid is fit for purpose. Water is added to the midway point of the pressure canner. Amid much twisting, cussing and finally success, the lid is married to the bottom...Flame or heat is applied to bring the spitting spout of steam out the tiny hole in center of lid. Once fully engaged, jiggler is placed over that tiny hole. Relax for 20min
I'm not sure who designed modern stoves, but I would hazard a guess that they have never canned anything in their lifetime... Never enough space behind the rear large burner, not to mention the canner is never centered atop the burner itself.
After relaxing for 20 minutes, flame or heat source is extinguished. Do not attempt any moves for at least 4hrs. Once cool, jiggler may be removed and lid twisted, or man handled again from the main body. Inside you will find 7 lovely jars of summer goodness to be placed in root cellar or basement. It's your choosing as to the coolest part of your house. In my earlier years, I've seen hundreds of jars stored under the beds. Back then the bedrooms were far removed from the main heat source. But this is now...
Wait a few months, choose the most blustery, coldest, snowiest day to pull out one or several of those jars. Add some hamhock, onion and pepper. Cook over low heat for several hours. Viola! Instant summer in a jar....
In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.
~William Blake
And so it goes......
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friendly Reminder...
Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right.
~~~~~Abraham Lincoln
Earl made a comment on Friday Funnies that started this train of thought...
We have allowed our government to remove almost every acknowledgement and association to God from everything that we hold dear. If they (WE) would only look to Our history, they (WE) would and should remember that only through God's grace have we advanced so far.
Since O'Wise One had sent me this little reminder, I thought I would pass it on. Mayhap it should be sent to every government office in each of these 50 (or is it 57?) states, along with those in Washington DC.
I found this very interesting.
Do you know the Preamble for your state? . . .
Be sure to read the message in red at the bottom!
Alabama 1901, Preamble
We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution..
Alaska 1956, Preamble
We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.
Arizona 1911, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...
Arkansas 1874, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government...
California 1879, Preamble
We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom...
Colorado 1876, Preamble
We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe...
Connecticut 1818, Preamble.
The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy...
Delaware 1897, Preamble
Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences...
Florida 1885, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution...
Georgia 1777, Preamble
We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution...
Hawaii 1959, Preamble
We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance, establish this Constitution...
Idaho 1889, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings...
Illinois 1870, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors...
Indiana 1851, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government...
Iowa 1857, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution...
Kansas 1859, Preamble
We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution...
Kentucky 1891, Preamble
We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties...
Louisiana 1921, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy...
Maine 1820, Preamble
We, the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity. And imploring His aid and direction...
Maryland 1776, Preamble
We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty...
Massachusetts 1780, Preamble
We, the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe. In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction...
Michigan 1908, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution...
Minnesota, 1857, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings...
Mississippi 1890, Preamble
We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work...
Missouri 1845, Preamble
We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness, establish this Constitution...
Montana 1889, Preamble
We, the people of Montana grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution...
Nebraska 1875, Preamble
We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution...
Nevada 1864, Preamble
We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution...
New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V
Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience...
New Jersey 1844, Preamble
We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors...
New Mexico 1911, Preamble
We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty...
New York 1846, Preamble
We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings...
North Carolina 1868, Preamble
We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those...
North Dakota 1889, Preamble
We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain...
Ohio 1852, Preamble
We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common...
Oklahoma 1907, Preamble
Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this...
Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I> Section 2.
All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences...
Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble
We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance...
Rhode Island 1842, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Rhode Island, grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing...
South Carolina, 1778, Preamble
We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution...
South Dakota 1889, Preamble
We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties...
Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III.
That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience...
Texas 1845, Preamble
We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God...
Utah 1896, Preamble
Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution...
Vermont 1777, Preamble
Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man...
Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights,
XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other...
Washington 1889, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...
West Virginia 1872, Preamble
Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in constant reliance upon God...
Wisconsin 1848, Preamble
We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility...
Wyoming 1890, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution...
After reviewing acknowledgments of God from all 50 state constitutions, one is faced with the prospect that maybe, the ACLU and the out-of-control federal courts are wrong!
(Please note that at no time is anyone told that they MUST worship God.)
'Those people who will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants.'
~~~~~William Penn
BLESSED IS THE NATION WHOSE GOD IS THE LORD... PSALM 33:12
GOD BLESS AMERICA
And so it goes......
~~~~~Abraham Lincoln
Earl made a comment on Friday Funnies that started this train of thought...
We have allowed our government to remove almost every acknowledgement and association to God from everything that we hold dear. If they (WE) would only look to Our history, they (WE) would and should remember that only through God's grace have we advanced so far.
Since O'Wise One had sent me this little reminder, I thought I would pass it on. Mayhap it should be sent to every government office in each of these 50 (or is it 57?) states, along with those in Washington DC.
I found this very interesting.
Do you know the Preamble for your state? . . .
Be sure to read the message in red at the bottom!
Alabama 1901, Preamble
We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution..
Alaska 1956, Preamble
We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.
Arizona 1911, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...
Arkansas 1874, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government...
California 1879, Preamble
We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom...
Colorado 1876, Preamble
We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe...
Connecticut 1818, Preamble.
The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy...
Delaware 1897, Preamble
Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences...
Florida 1885, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution...
Georgia 1777, Preamble
We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution...
Hawaii 1959, Preamble
We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance, establish this Constitution...
Idaho 1889, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings...
Illinois 1870, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors...
Indiana 1851, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government...
Iowa 1857, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution...
Kansas 1859, Preamble
We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution...
Kentucky 1891, Preamble
We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties...
Louisiana 1921, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy...
Maine 1820, Preamble
We, the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity. And imploring His aid and direction...
Maryland 1776, Preamble
We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty...
Massachusetts 1780, Preamble
We, the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe. In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction...
Michigan 1908, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution...
Minnesota, 1857, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings...
Mississippi 1890, Preamble
We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work...
Missouri 1845, Preamble
We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness, establish this Constitution...
Montana 1889, Preamble
We, the people of Montana grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution...
Nebraska 1875, Preamble
We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution...
Nevada 1864, Preamble
We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution...
New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V
Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience...
New Jersey 1844, Preamble
We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors...
New Mexico 1911, Preamble
We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty...
New York 1846, Preamble
We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings...
North Carolina 1868, Preamble
We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those...
North Dakota 1889, Preamble
We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain...
Ohio 1852, Preamble
We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common...
Oklahoma 1907, Preamble
Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this...
Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I> Section 2.
All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences...
Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble
We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance...
Rhode Island 1842, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Rhode Island, grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing...
South Carolina, 1778, Preamble
We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution...
South Dakota 1889, Preamble
We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties...
Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III.
That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience...
Texas 1845, Preamble
We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God...
Utah 1896, Preamble
Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution...
Vermont 1777, Preamble
Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man...
Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights,
XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other...
Washington 1889, Preamble
We, the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...
West Virginia 1872, Preamble
Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in constant reliance upon God...
Wisconsin 1848, Preamble
We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility...
Wyoming 1890, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution...
After reviewing acknowledgments of God from all 50 state constitutions, one is faced with the prospect that maybe, the ACLU and the out-of-control federal courts are wrong!
(Please note that at no time is anyone told that they MUST worship God.)
'Those people who will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants.'
~~~~~William Penn
BLESSED IS THE NATION WHOSE GOD IS THE LORD... PSALM 33:12
GOD BLESS AMERICA
And so it goes......
Friday, August 15, 2008
Friday Funnies...
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
~~~~~Erma Bombeck
Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ?
~~~~~
And so it goes......
~~~~~Erma Bombeck
Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ?
~~~~~
Think about this one:
1. Cows
2.The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
C O W S
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq.... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...
It creates a hostile work environment.
~~~~~
The Bathtub Test:
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director,
'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.' 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub. 'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
"No" said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?'
OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?
~~~~~
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
~~~~~Grace Hopper
And so it goes......
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Newest Addition...
It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money.
~~~~~Elinor Goulding Smith
Hear ye! Hear ye!
In the year of our Lord 2008, on the twelfth day in the month of August, WE proudly herald the birth of Pierce Carlyle Johnson.
The young king made his appearance at 2 hours and 6 minutes after the hour of high noon. The royal son weighed in at a strapping 7 pounds and 11 ounces, with a majestic height of 19 and one half inches.
Henceforth, his loyal subjects were smitten by his lovely countenance.
Having much stamina to endure the 48 hours prior, the exhausted parent's and Grandparent's exhibited fortitude throughout the birthing.
As a privileged great Aunt to this youngest royal son, I would like to take this opportunity to express my pleasure to the proud parents....
WELCOME TO THE BEAUTIFUL STATE OF PARENTHOOD!
VS, you make a very lovely Grandmother. Again.
And so it goes......
~~~~~Elinor Goulding Smith
Hear ye! Hear ye!
In the year of our Lord 2008, on the twelfth day in the month of August, WE proudly herald the birth of Pierce Carlyle Johnson.
The young king made his appearance at 2 hours and 6 minutes after the hour of high noon. The royal son weighed in at a strapping 7 pounds and 11 ounces, with a majestic height of 19 and one half inches.
Henceforth, his loyal subjects were smitten by his lovely countenance.
Having much stamina to endure the 48 hours prior, the exhausted parent's and Grandparent's exhibited fortitude throughout the birthing.
As a privileged great Aunt to this youngest royal son, I would like to take this opportunity to express my pleasure to the proud parents....
WELCOME TO THE BEAUTIFUL STATE OF PARENTHOOD!
VS, you make a very lovely Grandmother. Again.
And so it goes......
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Friday Funnies (Late)
At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.
~~~~~Jean Houston
Time got away from me yesterday. Had many things on my 'to do' list, not so much that was accomplished. I did manage to pick up the Hunny Bunnies and Booger Butt. The rest? As my Daddy always said..."Better late than never."
So here are the Friday Funnies, just a day late...
Southern Grandma
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma
a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a
trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Sanders, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.Desmond.
I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit, paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned!
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
'Mrs. Sanders, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Cristofaro,
since He was youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.
Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I'll send you to the electric chair.'
~~~~~
CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE OLD PEOPLE!!!
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport .
The pilot comes on the intercom,
'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'.
He forgets to switch off the intercom.
Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot,
'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?'
'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....
then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner....
I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'
Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.
Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.
The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a sh*t first.'
~~~~~
SEPTIC TRUCK SIGN
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
~~~~~Mark Twain
And so it goes......
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