My Little Slice Of Heaven...

There can be no other occupation like gardening in which, if you were to creep up behind someone at their work, you would find them smiling.

~~~~~Mirabel Osler

Looking pretty good, isn't it? I've picked a few cucumbers and zucchini squash already. Lots and lots of little green 'maters too! I can hardly wait to taste the very first one from my very own garden. Course, the bugs have already had their first bite... Soon as I get a day off, I'll be out there trying to stop that.

Strange as it may sound, I'm praying for it to rain. Weather forecasters have been sayin it... but so far, not been happening.

Sadly, tis time to make the donuts... Two nights down, just 3 more to go. Gardening will have to wait. Shucks! I'm in need of a few hours out there. Just to release some of those frustrations I've accumulated over the last week or so.

Gardening is about enjoying the smell of things growing in the soil, getting dirty without feeling guilty, and generally taking the time to soak up a little peace and serenity.

~~~~~Lindley Karstens

And so it goes......

Look At Those Animals..

If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth.
~~~~~Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce

O'Wise One brought her 2 granddaughters up Friday night. I had already picked up my 2 Hunny Bunnies and Booger Butt. The plan was for us to get up early Saturday morning, rendezvous with Momma, my daughter SG and her boyfriend. The Cincinnati Zoo awaited us.

The problem with the plan was that the grand kids didn't want to go to bed early. Too much pent up energy to be wasting time in bed. Needless to say, it was very late by the time all 5 had their baths and were slumbering. VERY late by the time MB and I were able to do likewise. Someone had to make all the food destined for the picnic cooler. Yup, leave it to the old ones.

Eventually, we arrived. The kids were ready to hit the trails. First thing through the gate were the elephants. Huge animals they were. The Elephant House wasn't open due to renovations. Very little room at the viewing fence. But the kids loved it. Did I mention they really smelled?

Off to the next stop of The Discovery Zone. Pretty cool inside. Had to walk thru a cool zone. Oh, did I mention it was sizzling outside? Those cool zones were to become my best friend while we were there. They had a tropical forest setting. We saw a boa constrictor, thankfully behind a plate glass window. A sloth was taking a nap in a fork of a tree. There was a beautiful parrot perched in a tree too.

We all were suitably impressed by the up close and personal views of these animals.

Next stop was The Giraffe House. We had been told that we would be able to feed them from the deck. But we missed the feeding time.

Walking back out to the main walkway, the younger kids decided they were getting tired of all this walking. Off to hunt down the rent-a-stroller. We stopped at each and every viewing fence. Even if there wasn't anything to view. Those smart animals knew to go hide in the shade where it was cooler... Not so, us humans.

I was able to talk them into sitting on a bench for a few minutes while the other's decided where we were going to adventure to next.

2 double strollers rented. (took a loan out for this) On to the next big enclosure. The African Jungle Trail.

These peacocks and peahens have free reign to wander all over the zoo grounds. You will see them everywhere. You hear them long before you can spot them.

This big guy didn't want to show his face. Guess if I had strangers looking at me all day long, I'd do the same.

Hunny Bunny 1 thought this Bilabo had a strange looking butt. Ok, he really did. I guess he took exception to our remarks because he decided to sit down right as I took the picture. And the glass created a glare.

The kids thought it was hilarious when I told them these guys were checking for bugs on each other. Wouldn't be my idea of a good lunch either.

Soon there were cries of human hunger, and barking puppies. Yes, my feet were hurting. As were all the adults. SG and T were returning from taking MB's little rat terrier puppy back to her house, since you aren't supposed to have dogs inside the zoo. Unless it's a seeing eye or service dog. Calls were made to bring in the cooler and another rendezvous was scheduled. Now to find the Comfort Zone.

We walked, and walked. Then walked some more. Between walking, stopped at all points of interest.

Of course, once the kids found the play area, we had to stop.

Camel ride anyone?

Took all 3 of them to tame that wild alligator. Or was it a crocodile?

After many twists and turns, plus several backtracks, we found the Comfort Zone. Did you know you can get lost in the Cincinnati Zoo? Yep, leave it to us. SG and T had returned with the cooler of food prior to us finding the Zone and were able to reserve several tables for us.

Hunny Bunny 2 wasn't interested in food. She was worn out already. It was way past her nap time. Nothing was going to interfere with her snooze. I made sure of that!

Now that everyone had their fill of half eaten sandwiches, chips and cookies. It was time to head south. After we returned the strollers to the original point of rent-a-stroller. We also had to purchase our small memento picture that was taken upon our arrival.

I think I'm working for the wrong company.

And so it goes......

Friday Funnies...

No matter how grouchy you're feeling,
You'll find the smile more or less healing.
It grows in a wreath
All around the front teeth -
Thus preserving the face from congealing.
~~~~~Anthony Euwer


Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE : I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
~~~~~

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road.
~~~~~Henry Ward Beecher


WHY I NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local supermarket when I selected:
A half gallon of milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of Folger coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up my purchase, the drunk calmly said, "You must be single."

I was a little bit startled by the proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, "Well, you know what? You're absolutely right, but how on earth did you know that?

"The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."
~~~~~

I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.
~~~~~Author Unknown


Who's Your Best Friend?

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
~~~~~



And so it goes......

A Humdindger Of A Storm...

There's always a period of curious fear between the first sweet-smelling breeze and the time when the rain comes cracking down.

~~~~~Don Delillo

I had just backed into my driveway, when my phone rang. It was Momma. She sounded visibly upset. Here's part of our conversation...

Her: "Where are you? Aren't they evacuating you all?

Me: "Mom, I just now got home from work, why would they be evacuating us?"

Her: "Don't you know there are tornado warnings out?"

Me: "Uh, Mom, the sun is shining here. I don't see a storm cloud in sight."

Her: "Well, I'm at Meijer doing my grocery shopping and they are telling us that we have to evacuate, or take shelter. The wind is blowing like crazy, roofs are blowing off of buildings."

Me: "Momma, Go find out what they are going to do, and call me back. Ok?"

Not 10 minutes later, I took those pictures above. Thankfully I had time to grab all the hanging flower pots down, and remove the patio umbrella before it was blown away.

3 minutes after that, the rains came. Straight in from the west. Almost horizontal, the wind was blowing it so hard. .

I grabbed my purse, car keys and socks, (I was barefoot) laid everything by the basement door. I stood in the front door and watched the storm. Quite a light show was being put on. Thunder and lightening cracked and rolled across the sky. I heard the emergency warning sirens go off. Did I take shelter? Uh, No....

I was trying to charge my cell phone. Couldn't talk to Momma with a dead battery.

The rain tapered off to a light drizzle. I could see off to the northeast, they were getting a taste of what had been bombarding my house just minutes before.

As much as I don't care for severe storms, I do like a good summer storm. Sorta clears the air. They also make for spectacular sunsets.

Besides, the garden needed watering. I hope that the corn and tomatoes bounce back after being laid flat though.

Momma did call back, she was fine. She finished her shopping without any more excitement.

And so it goes......

Late Edition of Friday Funnies

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
~~~~~Author Unknown

Oh! The things they say....

My five year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, 'Hey, look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!'

Startled, I took a deep breath, and then asked... 'What did you call it?'

'It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!'

And so it did...


'A f r i c a n Elephant'

Hooked on phonics!
Ain't it wonderful?
~~~~~

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
~~~~~Jane Howard

Meet the Family....

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt,
a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt',
you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
~~~~~


Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
~~~~~Dwight D. Eisenhower


Just the Facts Ma'am...

THE YEAR 1908

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!

The year is 1908. One hundred years ago.

What a difference a century makes!

Here are some statistics for the Year 1908:

************ ********* ********* ******

The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower

The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,

A dentist $2,500 per year,

a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year,

and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

Were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard. "

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month,

and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from

Entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza

2. Tuberculosis

3. Diarrhea

4. Heart disease

5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea

Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over

the counter at the local corner drugstores.

Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion,

gives buoyancy to the mind,

regulates the stomach and bowels,

and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least

One full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

Now I shamelessly borrowed this from someone else without typing

It myself, and sent it to you and others all over Canada & U.S.A

Possibly the world, in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

IT STAGGERS THE MIND, EH?

~~~~~

And so it goes......

Mistress Mary,

Mistress Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With cockle-shells, and silver bells,

And pretty maids all in a row.

~~~~~Mother Goose

I was able to go play in the dirt after the rains left late yesterday afternoon. Yes, it was a little bit muddy. But plants don't seem to mind the mud. I planted more of the hot peppers, and some patty pan squash. I wanted to rototill in between the rows but the tiller got a flat. I had to put in a call to Big Little Brother to see if he could stop by to fix it. Reckon that means until he does, I get to use the old hoe!

I had put my white half runner beans to soaking early this morning. After it got nice and warm, got two more rows planted. I added a row of Nasturiums below the tomato plants. They are good companion plants to help keep the bugs off of them. Or so Momma says. We'll see.

I did pick several peppers last night. A yellow banana, cayenne and a jalepeno pepper. Had them for supper. And again for lunch today. UMMM! The cayenne and jalepeno had just the right amount of bite. My lips burnt for several minutes after I finished eating.

I can hardly wait till the tomato and squash start coming in. And the green beans...

But right now, I've got to leave for work. It's donut making time.

And so it goes......

Something To Make You Smile...

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

~~~~~A.A. Milne

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and

noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,

particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which

operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable

programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5

and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0,

NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer

runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,

but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment

Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please

enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download

Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0

update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0

should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0

and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause

Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour

7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad

program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs

a virus in the background that will eventually seize

control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt

to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported

applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does

have limited memory and cannot learn new applications

quickly. You might consider buying additional software to

improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0

and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

~~~~~

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

~~~~~Dave Tyson Gentry

Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Tuesday 02-26-2008 3:25am ET
Dear Walter :

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34 , and we have been married for twelve years.When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Anne

Dear Anne:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

-Walter

~~~~~

Please don't take these little snips to be derogatory views of marriage.... I was married once. For quite some time.

Then....

Never mind, it no longer matters.

I guess I started thinking about marriages, the good and the bad, during a email conversation I had today. And I'm reminded of "hope springs eternal."

Yep, even I have hope, wishes, and desires for a happy marriage. One of these days...

Right now, these are my reasons for being single. And my reasons for being able to blog during the day. Blessings they are one and all!

I could hardly believe that I got all three of them down for a nap 'all at the same time'!


Wooo Hooo!





And so it goes......

Weekend Pictorial

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

~~~~~Franklin P. Jones

What is a home without children?

Quiet.

~~~~~Henny Youngman

After work on Thursday, I stopped to pick up my Hunny Bunny 1. We wanted to pick up Booger Butt 2 and Hunny Bunny 3. Unfortunately, they had plans. We spent the evening doing the things she wanted to do.

On the Fourth of July, it was just us two for the rain filled day of celebrating.

Yes, we had lots and lots of rain. Again.

Thankfully, by the time dusk arrived, the rain had stopped. We were able to watch the fireworks display put on at the Elementary School across the road from my driveway. How cool to not drive any distance.

Not the best shot from a cell phone camera.

But you make do with what you have... Cell phone camera it is.

The fireworks seemed to last a very long time. Princess Leilah didn't like all the booms, and noise. She had to try to out "howl" them... to no avail, I might add.

On Saturday morning, Booger Butt 2 and Hunny Bunny 3 arrived. Total mayhem in this house from then on out...

Booger Butt 2 and Hunny Bunny 1 engineering a trip on the local train.

Hunny Bunny 1 having great fun on the school playground.

Booger Butt 2 trying to stop his slide down the hot surface.

Hunny Bunny 3 ever so delicately eating a bite of something.

Hunny Bunny 1 and her "funny" face...

Never to be outdone, Booger Butt 2 and his "funny" face...



The two oldest didn't want to leave. Amid much wailing and pleading, permission was granted. They spent another night at Nana's house. Today we will be picking up the honorary Booger Butt 5. The house will be in shambles yet again.

My Momma came over to visit yesterday too. Her question to me, "How are you going to get any work done?" Well.... I probably won't accomplish a whole heap of chores. But as my Grandma Bond once said to me. "If I had it to do all over, dirt wouldn't matter so much."

Besides, they are only young once. And chores certainly don't disappear.


Life is good.



And so it goes......