Late Edition of Friday Funnies...

Dear Lord, Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am, and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope...
And though I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me to be thankful for life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet.
And may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
~~~~~Irish Blessing


I've been forced to take a day of leisure. My spirit was willing but the body protested just a tad bit much. It was one of those bone achy, scratchy throat, hard to swallow, nothing tastes right type of days. I did try to make a doctor's appointment to no avail. Call back in the morning... Yup, I plan on it. But it sure messes up my day when I can't enjoy drinking my morning coffee.

Trying to alleviate my boredom, I've read several books. I surely wish I had not left "House to House" by David Bellavia on the plane to Daytona. "The Blog of War" by Matthew Burden will be devoured a second time. Heck, I might even do more searching for those undiscovered milblogs...

Now I'd like to leave you with a wee bit of laughter...always good medicine for the soul.
~~~~~


Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had?
So, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.
I told her oh no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish setter's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
~~~~~


A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the old poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.
Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says...
"Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story.... Don't mess with old farts...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.



And so it goes......

Laughter is Good for You

My other 'older' sister VS sends this via email... Did I mention I have 4? We are firm believers in the power of laughter. When we get together, it's worse than a gaggle of geese. We're snorting, hee hawing, giggling, crying from all the laughs we produce. To me, that's the best of times....

Oh! Did I mention we also consider ourselves G.R.I.T.S? For those of you less informed, it means Girls Raised In The South.

Gotta love em!

~~~~~
A Redneck from Alabama walked into a bank in New
York City and asked for the loan officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to Bakersfield on
business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and
that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need
some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck
handed over the keys to a new Ferrari.

The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Redneck produced the title and everything checked
out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as
collateral for the loan and apologized for having to
charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all
enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for
using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the
bank's underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000
and the interest of $23.07.

The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we
are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that
you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would
you bother to borrow $5,000?'

The Alabama Redneck replied, 'Where else in New York
City, can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and
expect it to be there when I return?'

Ah, the Old Stupid Alabama Rednecks and his
name was BUBBA!

~~~~~


And so it goes......